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Monday 17 May 2010

Getting Personal


For those with long long memories there was a film “The Las Vegas Story” with a song by Hoagy Carmichael that became a top hit of the early 1950’s. One of my memories is of hopelessly drunk squaddies laid out front of the Guard Room trying to croon “My Resistance Is Low” to an unsympathetic RSM. Happy times. But I heard it on the radio a couple of days ago and it struck a chord. As you may imagine, the squaddie’s version also differed from the original. This is a modern variation.

“My Resistance Is Low”

I spray my trunk with Stinks and my gonads both glow,
Another big big spray and my sperm count is low,
Maybe I should desist I’m so vain that I know,
But so I stink like this I give it more go.

The cans like magic, it seems to say,
Get smelly, get smelly, my body get smelly,
And somehow I go all the way.

Can’t you see that I want to stink more than you’ll ever know?
I’m olfactory with a capital “O”.
So no need for persistence or keeping your distance,
You know my sperm count is low.

The cans like magic, it seems to say,
Get smelly, get smelly, my body get smelly,
And somehow I go all the way.

Can’t you see that I want to be smelled more than you’ll ever know?
I’m olfactory with a capital “O”.
So no need for persistence or keeping your distance,
You know my sperm count is low.

So no need for persistence or keeping your distance,
You know my sperm count is low,

My gonads both glow,
My brain has gone slow,
And my sperm count is low.

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